The Sharpest Knife

knife gun drugs

Sharp serrated insidious
Foolish mind and heart
Believed the pain was gone for good
Again I feel it start

The daily choices made by me
Keening call of quiet dark
No one who can listen
Or thinks it’s but a lark

I watched my father leave here
My mind shaded  before
This horror show just added
A new act to the floor

I watched a dearest old love
Giddy with new glee
Buy champagne and roses
For a girl who once was me

I’ve dreamed of choosing darkness
It seems most of my life
The longer I live harder I work
To glance past that sharp knife

There is no answer to my cries
The tears and damaged soul
If not for my beloved child
I’d say Fuck Getting Old.

Tomorrow brings more silence
Aloneness and that grief
People dead on every plane
My soul dead sans relief

I’m really very tired
Of keeping up the face
To keep a smile in the voice
When others call my place

But deep inside it’s grinding
The blade upon the stone
Sharpening myriad reasons
To call that knife my own

~miss b

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