Karma around the neighborhood

What part of Karma don’t you get?

So, a friend is involved with a married person. Not sure of they’re making the beast with two backs but they’re sleeping in the same bed. An old friend of theirs from High School. I can’t figure out what would make someone cheat on their spouse.

Hell, I was married twice and never cheated on either of the swine, er exes. Think about it? Sure. Everyone thinks about it. Do it? Nope. Karma’s a bitch.

What compels a husband or wife to cheat and break a trust that should be sacrosanct? I think of men and women who cheat the only adjectives that come to mind are slimeball and skank. How about you?

Well thanks to Google, too much time on my hands, and the personal stories of other dirtbags I’m here to hip you!

1. My husband/wife can’t have sex anymore. So I need it from somewhere.

2. He/she doesn’t pay attention to me or listen anymore.

3. Adventure!

4. Moral bankruptcy

5. I don’t want to pay for a divorce I’ve worked too hard

6. My wife/husband had an affair so I will too. I deserve this

7. She’s hormonal due to menopause. He’s having a mid-life crisis

8. Low self-esteem

So here’s my rebuttal to the Top 8

1. Unless your tongue is paralyzed you can still have sex and sexual intimacy. There are toys as well. And of course that old stand-by, your partners hands on your body.

2. Call the fucking wahbulance. Even the most perfectly matched couple will, over time, become inured to the other’s words sometimes. It happens. How about having a talk about it? Maybe over a romantic dinner? You might want to avoid the alcohol for this one. Potential fights and make-up sex could be in your future. Not to mention a fine justification for continuing the deception and lies.

3. STD’s!

4. Seems to me that if a spouse is not honest with themselves and others, or has no real moral compass then the sexual liaisons with someone else are easy to rationalize. The old saying is that you can get a horse thief to stop drinking, but then you just have a sober horse thief.

5. Wow. Who DOES want to lose their ass in a divorce? I didn’t. It’s called life and it isn’t fair. File the papers and suck it up. You’ll be free to screw whoever you want and no longer have to live with guilt, hiding and (if you have any scruples at all) shame.

6. See Number 5

7. Really? As we age changes take place in out bodies and thought process? Who knew. For many years married couples lived their lives out together. Divorce was unthinkable. Were a lot of them horribly unhappy? Oh yeah! My grandparents slept in separate beds. Seriously fucked up I think. Isn’t great that social mores have changed and we’re free to be free now? Call the lawyer and move out.

8. Low self-esteem can lead a spouse to cheat, to prove that they are worthy to someone else. It may not make it right, but it does happen for that reason and probably has no relation to the individual being cheated on. My suggestion is therapy and maybe more time spent with your husband/wife. Or…. A divorce! Hell, try a separation first. You may both find out you’re happier this way.

So kids, thinking of cheating? It may not be planned but it seems most people who do it once will repeat it. Doing something hurtful the first time makes it easier the second. Ask career criminals.

These are just my thoughts of course. I’ve had experience with men who wanted to cheat on their wives with me. Kinky Married Guy ™ comes to mind. But I can’t. I’ve been cheated on and it hurts. Terribly.

It’s not worth the utter breach of trust you’ve built upon over the years.

Of course you could always kill them and wind up on TruTV. I’ll be watching for you!

Karma indeed.